


Anima Mea Vinctum Amare

by Flygon_Master



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Themes, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Couch Cuddles, F/F, Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, True Love, spearmint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flygon_Master/pseuds/Flygon_Master
Summary: Soulmates.The phenomenon of being linked to another through fate is a concept that Pearl cannot help but despise...after all she knows the concept of being "Soulmates" by its original Latin description.Anima Mea Vinctum Amare or put far more simply... My Love Life in Chains
Relationships: Pearl/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 18





	Anima Mea Vinctum Amare

Soulmates.

The phenomenon of being linked to another through fate was a logical impossibility, unexplainable by every modern scientific method that had been developed to date. However, despite it being statistically impossible hundreds of thousands were born every day with a fated ‘Soul Mark’ branded somewhere on their skin.

Some referred to it as The Red String of Fate. The idea that a thin red cord, unobservable to the naked eye, was tied around your little finger with the other end being tied around your Soulmates little finger. A tangible construct that kept you and your destined ‘One True Love’ in constant contact no matter how far apart you were from one another.

Others, believing themselves more versed in the subject, chose to believe in Theosophy. A belief that a soul has two halves, each half belonging to a separate person, that are constantly drawing the other closer in an attempt to be whole and reach some destined end of existence together as one.

Pearl Kim-Quartz-Universe knew the concept of ‘Soulmates’ by its original Latin description.

** Anima Mea  ** ** Vinctum  ** ** Amare -  ** ** My Love Life in Chains **

_“It’s not nearly as romantic as everyone makes it out to be.”_ Pearl would often think with a small angry huff of breath whenever she would overhear someone gushing about what they envision their ‘Destined One’ to be like or when one of her friends would go on and on about how they longed to find their own Soulmate.

Pearl absolutely hated the concept of Soulmates.

It made no sense to Pearl to stake all of your hopes, your dreams, your thoughts and emotions on one pre-destined encounter when it wasn’t even guaranteed that you would ever actually meet your so-called Soulmate in your life time.

It didn’t help her apparent ‘cynicism’ to see the damage that could be done by putting all that you were on the line in hopes of meeting your ‘Perfect Lover’. In fact she had witnessed first-hand the destruction it could bring to a life far too often when it came to her friends.

Jasper Ramirez was tall and strongly built, even by male standards. Long platinum blonde hair and a model worthy face, Jasper was by all means the pinnacle of beauty ideals. Jasper had once been a big lovable teddy bear. Kindhearted, thoughtful and extremely adept at sensing others emotions and acting in a way to either enhance them if they were positive or drive them away if they were negative.

Now though? Now, Jasper was malicious and cruel. Her Soul Mark was a small pentagon on the back of her left hand that glowed varying colors depending on her Soulmates current mood. Often it shown a bright yellow and Jasper was delighted to know her ‘True Love’ was happy.

Somewhere along the way that happiness turned to sadness and then to bitterness and anger. How dare her Soulmate be so happy when they weren’t together? How _could_ her Soulmate be so happy without Jasper? How was Jasper supposed to be happy without them?

It didn’t take long for Jasper’s rage and hatred to consume her and leave her constantly feeling hollow and raw…

Lapis ‘Lazuli’ Kelekolio was an absolute ray of sunshine wherever she went. A beautiful smile and the most infectious little giggle snort you would ever hear. Lapis was once a talented artist and dedicated surfer, with the seemingly innate ability to light up a room by simply stepping into it. She was soft spoken and gentle, someone who would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.

Now though? Now, Lapis was cold and distant. Her Soul Mark was a small image of a compass pointing south surrounded by angel fish. It was an admittedly very specific and yet obtuse visual clue as to where she would meet her ‘True Love’.

Nothing seemed to change after her first trip, nor the second, nor the third, but somewhere along the way Lapis began to come back home from her frequent trips to the tropics less bright than she had been when she left. How could she meet her Soulmate in such a large expanse of water? How would they even know if they saw each other while wearing wetsuits? How could she afford to keep up her search?

It didn’t take long for a jaded type of depression to take root in Lapis’ heart and choke out all the happiness for life she had once felt…

They would never find their Soulmate.

They would never find someone to truly love them.

They were destined only to feel pain and suffer at the hands of another just as unfortunate as themselves…

Pearl wished she could just slap the two silly! Jasper and Lapis were perfect for each other…or at least they had been before they let themselves be warped and corrupted by the awful preconceived notion that you couldn’t be happy unless you were with your Soulmate!

Sadly, nothing Pearl ever said got through to them and was more often than not met with hostility from the two pessimistic young women.

 _“My Love Life in Chains…”_ Pearl thought to herself as she looked down at the inside of her wrist, staring at the small address printed there with distain.

**226 N 42nd St, Empire City, EM 10011**

It was the address to a small coffee shop and café just a few states away and it was there that she was supposed to meet her Soulmate.

Amethyst used to go on and on about how lucky Pearl was to have a Soul Mark that explicit and just how jealous she was of her taller friend. Garnet used to offer to drive Pearl up to the café for weekend trips so she could try and get in contact with her Soulmate, or at the very least leave her number. Jasper used to suggest that Pearl simply move up there to loiter in the café every day, with Lapis always agreeing with a curt nod.

They used to not understand why Pearl never made any conscious effort to go meet her Soulmate…until one day they pushed the subject, and subsequently her, too far. Never before had they seen Pearl truly raise her voice and could only flinch back into their seats when she began to yell at them for their obsession with their so-called ‘Soulmates’.

Pearl wasted no time in loudly admonishing them for being unwilling to even try to form working relationships or bonds with the people that were all around them. For choosing to be sad and distant, always looking towards the theoretical future in hopes they could find that one magical person instead of opening their hearts to someone so blatantly perfect for them just because of a mark on their skin.

Jasper had recovered from her initial shock enough to try and yell back, tried to bring up Pearl’s crush on Rose that went nowhere. Tried to throw her failed relationship with Sheena and Bismuth back in Pearl’s face…but Pearl didn’t back down and tore into Jasper for how she treats Lapis, for how she flies into a fit of rage and hits the smaller women whenever her mark glows yellow just because her soulmate is choosing to be happy while Jasper _chooses_ to wallow in her self-made despair.

Lapis felt a sense of obligation to try and defend her girlfriend, but that only caused Pearl to direct her fury at the blunette. To now scold Lapis for how quickly she gave up on her hopes and dreams, how easily she gave into her depression and how equally awful she was to Jasper…perhaps even more so, due to all the attempts Lapis has made to try and drown the larger girl over the past two years.

Amethyst tries to jump in and calm everyone down, but Pearl was so lost to her whirlwind of emotions and blind indignation that she began chastising the shorter women as well. Yelling at Amethyst for her swinger ways and how the small latina tried to drown out her Soul Mark with alcohol and countless hours of loveless sex with anyone who was willing.

It wasn’t until Amethyst began sobbing into her forearm that Pearl finally snapped to her senses, but by then the damage her words had brought was already done.

On the inside of Amethyst’s right forearm were two little words: Excuse Me.

The words glowed a soft lavender…her soulmates first words to her had already been spoken…

Amethyst had already met her Soulmate…

…and had no idea who they were or how to find them again…

It took weeks for the group to heal…apologies were hard to give and the subsequent forgiveness even harder, but in the end their friendship stayed intact. Pearl was thankful for Garnet and how the stoic girl had forced them all together, on more than one or two occasions, and had practically twisted their arms to get them to talk everything out.

Pearl was certain that without her their little group would have drifted apart and she would have never seen them again.

It had been months since then and their dynamic has mostly gone back to normal, with the exception that now the topic of Pearl’s Soul Mark was an unspoken taboo. They decided that weather or not they agree with Pearl’s outlook on Soulmates that it was ultimately her decision to make.

The discussion had been put to rest when Pearl had firmly stated that she refused to let her love life be bound by some invisible set of chains…

Rose couldn’t love her.

Not in the way Pearl had wanted. Rose was kind, caring, and made Pearl feel like she was wanted and adored…but Rose was born before the Soulmate phenomenon and would always claim that she had already found her one true love in the form of Greg Universe. Besides, in the end she was Pearl’s foster mother and nothing Pearl could have done would have ever changed that.

Sheena couldn’t love her.

Not in the way Pearl had needed. Sheena was Pearl’s first true girlfriend, both having bonded over sharing the same philosophy against their respective Soul Marks. It was Pearl who inevitable drove Sheena away, still hung up on her affections for Rose…caught in the act of using Sheena as a substitute for Rose, due to a slip of the tongue, was all it took for their relationship to crash and burn.

Bismuth couldn’t love her.

Not in the way Pearl had expected. Bismuth was the first to listen to Pearl’s stance about dating outside one’s Soul Mark since Sheena and had eagerly agreed to go out with the thin girl. However, their relationship was all one big game to the blacksmith’s daughter and when Pearl pressed for something more serious Bismuth claimed that they were only playing around until they could find their ‘True Love’ in the form of their Soulmate.

They couldn’t love her.

Not because they weren’t Soulmates, but because the situation wasn’t right for love to bloom…because the right emotions weren’t there or there were too many of the wrong ones…because of childish mentalities and incompatible thoughts…

Love isn’t magic, it takes work and dedication and-

“You are staring at your wrist again…are you feeling okay Pearly-Bird?”

Pearl feels the misty fog of her thoughts clear almost instantly at the sound of her companions nasally voice.

Peridot Rabara. A rather short women with adorably fluffy blonde hair and bright green eyes. Her pale white skin matching that of Pearl’s own, the only difference between them was the mess of freckles Peridot had covering her cheeks and shoulders compared to Pearl’s own flawless complexion.

Curious, excitable, a little socially inept to the point of being rather cute and not to mention an absolute pain in Pearl’s ass! A fact Peridot was rather proud of or so Pearl assumed due to all the smug little grins she had received since they had started dating.

Pearl wouldn’t change her for the world.

“Yes love, sorry I get caught up in my head sometimes as you know.” Pearl responded softly as she scooted down the couch getting closer to where the smaller girl sat perched on the other end, before pulling said smaller girl into a side hug and reclining them both back into the soft cushions.

Peridot responded by melting into the embrace, nuzzling her face into the crook between Pearl’s chest and shoulder. “Yes I am aware, I do it too after all. Still, it’s not often you dwell on your Soul Mark and I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. I know I can’t really say much on the matter, but…I want you to be happy and if there’s anything I can ever do…”

Pearl felt an ever increasing familiar warmth bloom in her chest at Peridot’s words. A small, serene smile gracing Pearl’s lips as she looked down and watched the smaller girl as she spoke. That was until Peridot noticed the look her girlfriend was giving her, causing her to trail off with a blush as she tried to hide her face deeper into Pearl’s collarbone from embarrassment.

Sharing what she was feeling and being honest about her emotions was very hard for Peridot, due to her numerous past relationship partners constantly taking advantage of her and using her as nothing more than a toy…

All because of her Soul Mark…or rather her lack of one…

It was rather uncommon now days for someone, especially someone of their age, to be born markless and most people saw that as quite the negative trait. Unlovable and destined to be alone was merely the beginning of the awful things Peridot had been told throughout her life by those who should have cared for her…

Which is why Pearl was so happy to hear those words of worry and reassurance that Peridot was there for her if she needed it. Peridot trusted her and that was something that Pearl did not take lightly, as it was that trust that Pearl had done her best to earn.

“I’m happy to hear you worry about me if we are being honest, but you needn’t be love. I was merely reminiscing on how I ended up here, with the most adorable pain in the ass snuggled in my arms.” Pearl teased with an airy laugh as she brought their foreheads together, making Peridot giggle and blush a little harder at the show of affection.

“Yeah well you have a pointy nose!” Peridot said with mock anger as she darted forward to place a quick kiss to the tip of Pearl’s nose before the older women had a chance to respond.

“Ugh, excuse you! You find my pointy nose extremely attractive thank you very much!’ Pearl huffed with her own mock annoyance, but had a large smile adorning her face nonetheless.

Peridot giggled again and did her absolute best to remove any open air between them by wrapping her arms around Pearl and hugging the taller girl as tightly as she could. “I love you Pearl…”

It was almost a whisper, but Pearl heard it as clear as a bright summer day. Hugging Peridot back, although not nearly with as much force, Pearl let out another breathy little chuckle before placing a soft kiss to the top of Peridot’s head.

“I love you too.”


End file.
